What will they remember about me?

I often wonder how my children will remember me.

Friends have shared memories of how they are reminded of their mother when they smell a certain dish. Even how certain kitchens trigger emotions because most the memories they have was of their mother in the kitchen.

It’s not unheard of to bond over food, but this goes beyond that. These memories bring them right back to the moment, like their mother was right in front of them doing what they do best. And that was captured in time.

Some people remember their mothers dirty fingernails from digging in garden dirt for hours.

Some people remember waking with the sun and stealing a few glimpses of their mother doing Sun Salutations to greet the day.

Some people remember not so nice things, too. Like drinking, neglect, anger.

Being a multi-passionate person has its advantages, I know a little bit about a wide range of stuff so i can be helpful with schoolwork and life in general. But with that multi-passion, I tend to juggle a lot of projects and streams of income. Which can make for a very distracted mama if I’m not careful.

Its true I’m not a wiz in the kitchen. I do OK, but I, for the most part, can’t wait to get out of the kitchen. Most likely because I don’t want to burn myself again.

Digging in a garden has its appeal but keeping another living thing alive is just too much pressure. I’m cool with the end result and you know, food but, dirt under my fingernails isn’t my thing. (Not yet anyway.)

I love yoga, but I am a night owl by nature. Greeting the sun is on my do-gooder wish list and I have seen the sun come up a time or two. But it’s more accurate to say I’ve sort of half-heartedly waved and mumbled something to the sun on my way to bed.

So what will my kids remember when they think of me?

I hope they remember someone full of life. Someone who was funny and would go to bat for them no matter what. I want them to remember my face while I listened to them. I hope they remember someone who wasn’t afraid to play soccer with “the boys, mama” and how we went roller skating every Saturday. Or how we looked forward to their physical so we could scribble all over the “table-paper” before Doc came in. (That’s what it’s there for right?)

I pray they keep the memories of us painting masterpieces together safely tucked away – just like I do.

What do you remember about your mother?

I’ve Been Hiding Out

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No, really.

I have been hiding in all sorts of ways. Some of it good and some of it… well, I may need to look at that. It’s easy to put someone else under a microscope and see what’s going on (or what we think is going on) but taking inventory of yourself really requires you to step out and view your actions like you would any other person.

And that’s not always easy.

To break my week of written silence here, I thought it would be a good idea to let you know I’ve been hiding out and why it’s been so quiet here lately. From what I can tell there are five main reasons…

Painting

If you’re part of my little Facebook community, you’ll know that I’ve been prepping for an art fair that took place last weekend. It’s been exhausting, exciting, and all around invigorating. I dove head first into painting and boldly went to the fair with only items I have painted. That is a first for me. I have only done a few fairs but I have always taken stuff I’ve painted, crocheted, and crafted. It was overwhelm really. I simplified that by focusing only on what I love and the outcome had good results.

In this case, hiding out in my studio until the wee hours of the morning was a good thing. Quality family time around the dinner table and then submerge myself into the depths of my studio and my paintings. It was awesome. (Correction: It IS awesome. I’ve got a steady flow of commission pieces coming in.)

Hide-and-Seek

This game has caught on like wildfire in my house. My littlest is always trying to find new hiding places and I’ll admit, she is quite good. (Takes after her momma.) She has this ability to find a spot that *isn’t* so hidden and remains totally still so you walk right by her. Our family games haven’t been restricted to only this though… there’s been oodles of bike riding, ball kicking, hockey playing, football throwing and yoga in the kitchen.* We’ve just been enjoying life. No shame in that.

Reading

I’ve always been an avid reader (to the point of getting grounded from it once). I’m not one to read much fiction though. My collection boasts works from many writers who have something important to say about finance, business, massage, art, creativity, and other self-improvement type goodies. I recently picked up Seven Days in the Art World by Sarah Thornton. I find the book to be fascinating and educational about the art world but I’ve had difficulty with it. Her writing style isn’t something I read easily for some reason. It could be due to the hour I’m trying to read it and the struggle to stay awake. I’m not sure. It’s just been a challenge and I’m sticking it out. (Not a good reason to not be writing here but heaped with all the other reasons, you’ll cut me some slack, right?)

Groove

My little family has been settling in just nicely to our new area. We’re meeting lots of people and making new friends. It’s been interesting trying to figure out if what you’re seeing is someone’s personality or if it’s the fact that we live in a new place where people behave differently. In a way, I feel like I’ve been hiding myself and this is the one where I’m a little iffy about it. I don’t feel it’s a bad thing but I’m not sure it’s good.

I’ve been doing a lot of self-work recently and one of my flaws is sharing too much. It seems I’ve learned to reel it in. Admittedly, I wonder if I’m reserving myself too much and I’m giving off the wrong impression. I’m still navigating if I’m hiding myself with restraint or if I’m finally reserving a little bit of me. It’s in my nature to question my behavior but if I bring it back to what my body feels like as things are happening… right now, I feel OK. I just need to remind myself that things will unfold when they are meant to.

This Blog

Yes. This blog. When I first created it, I didn’t use my name. I hid behind the title and my journey toward wholehearted living. I knew I would be sharing some personal stuff and for months I didn’t even tell my family or friends about it. The more I write the more comfortable I get with it. I’ve realized some of the stuff I’ve gone through and struggle with isn’t just my issue. Lots of people deal with them. As my comfort level got more.. well, comfortable, I’ve dropped the sheet, exposed my name and even shared this blog and Facebook page with family and friends. See? Not so scary.

The issue I’m having is I’m beginning to accept my love of painting and entertaining the idea of going after that dream.** This brings about the challenge of how to market myself. Working through personality traits and improving who I am as a person totally fits the scope of this blog. Painting does too, but I don’t know if it creates an additional hurdle for people to get to me, the artist.

It’s something I’ve been pondering more and more as painting projects gain momentum.

So there you have it… a few of the ways I’ve been hiding out. Most of it is absolute goodness but some of it falls on the “eh” spectrum. I’m working through it. Things are going swimmingly and my steady writing schedule has taken a detour. Hoping to get that back on track since I love writing as much as anything else. (Oh, the joys of being a multi-passionate person. Try to keep up and feel sorry for my husband, ok?)

 

*Post coming about that!

**It may not ever be a full-time gig, I still have my clients and other things going on that I don’t think I could be married to one profession. We’ll see.

 

40 Ways to Get Back to Nature

Hiking shoes île de la Réunion

A few years ago, I read a book called, Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder.  It was eye-opening to read about how far removed from nature we actually are. This is not new news but it certainly cast a spotlight on a very real thing.

I’ve witnessed it first-hand too. I’ve seen two gamers (after playing XBox around the clock) take at least two hours to begin to start functioning normally in a social situation. Those first two hours were brutal. It was like we were speaking a different language. They were in complete zombie-mode.

I can totally relate to this feeling. All it takes is a few hours of computer time, being completely in my head while researching the heck out of something and I lose a portion of my social skills. I can feel my brain flat-line when someone asks me a question. And here’s the scary part, in those moments, I crave getting back online.

You might think that technology is the cause but I digress. On more than one occasion, I’ve been walking a clearly marked, highly used trail in the woods and my company was just shy of crawling out of their skin because, “what if they saw an animal?” Me, personally? I would be more scared if we came across a human instead.

Here is my list of a few things you can do to reconnect you with nature:

  1. Get out of the house.
  2. Abandon technology for an entire day. At least once a month.
  3. Have a picnic with yourself.
  4. Go camping.
  5. Go camping alone.
  6. Meditate.
  7. Go horseback riding.
  8. Take up a hobby.
  9. Start a garden.
  10. Borrow a kid and go to a splash pad.
  11. Climb a tree.
  12. Sit in the sand at the beach.
  13. Sit in the sand in a sandbox.
  14. Take a geology class.
  15. Go hiking.
  16. Kayaking.
  17. Creek walking.
  18. Fishing.
  19. Play a sport.
  20. Sit on your porch.
  21. Sit outdoors and sketch what you see.
  22. Take up writing in a journal.
  23. Run through a sprinkler.
  24. Use street chalk.
  25. Go berry picking.
  26. Swim. In a lake/ocean/pond.
  27. Take up photography.
  28. Find a yoga class on a beach.
  29. Learn to rock climb.
  30. Walk your kids to school.
  31. Go to a Pow-Wow.
  32. Start bird watching.
  33. Ride a bike.
  34. Jump rope.
  35. Read a good book.
  36. Snooze in a hammock.
  37. Exercise outdoors.
  38. Volunteer for a favorite charity.
  39. Run/walk a 5k.
  40. Go creek-walking.

 

Do you have anything to add? How do you connect with nature?

 

 

 Photo credit: Creative Commons/Yoann JEZEQUEL