I’ve been feeling a shift lately. Like a baby opening its eyes for the first time, I’m starting to see things clearer. It’s a work in progress for sure but I’m beginning to have more freedom in my life.
The expectation and worry over other’s judgement has been weighing me down. I’m not really sure what’s so scary about that. Truthfully, we all want acceptance because being an outcast doesn’t exactly feel all that great. But then again…
Nothing great ever came from doing things just like everyone else.
Believe me, I know all the right answers. I know what I should be doing and what will make me “alright” in the eyes of whomever I’m speaking to. But that’s an awful way to live.
I mean really, they don’t have to live my life so why do I care so much about what they think? No, I’m not completely wrapped up in what people think but I’ll admit, I teeter. I sway between caring about what people think and not caring at all. I don’t spend three hours getting ready so I clearly don’t care about winning people over with my appearance and material things but I’d be lying if I said that what people think of me didn’t come up on my radar at all.
Will they think I am professional? Is what I’m wearing good enough? Will people like me?
As I write this, I’m noticing there is a lot of energy and thought directed elsewhere. The focus seems like it’s all on me (am I ok just being me?) but really it’s about other people and what THEY think and feel. That sounds bass-ackwards to me.
What other people think and feel about me is none of my business.*
It’s MY judgements that limit the potential of who I could be. Spending energy elsewhere makes everything about them. It doesn’t make me a better or worse person. In fact, it doesn’t change me at all. It just gives my energy away and one more thing to think about… instead of being more productive in other areas of my own life.
To me, that’s a waste…. and it stops here.
*I forget where I first heard that… but it’s right on the money.
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