Oh man. It’s been kinda quiet around here lately and with good reason. I have multiple posts started but I have yet to complete one. It’s just been so hectic:
- We’re in the process of buying a house and per our normal timing, our car is crapping out. It should be expected really. It’s old and that’s how our luck goes.
- I’ve had clients coming out of the woodwork – which is fantastic and sad at the same time. It’s completely awesome getting out there and doing this work but it’s sad because my time in the area is limited.
- A few days ago one of my aunts passed away. It was sudden and unexpected. And I’m not ready to talk about it. I have another aunt who is fighting for her life under a blanket of cancer that has consumed her. And I’m not ready to talk about that either.
I’m trying my best to hold it together but I don’t think I’m fooling anyone when I breathe and say, “almost there.” I’m trying to remain composed but there’s a snag in the fabric and I may unravel soon. It’s just a lot going on. At the same time. In too many directions.
There’s a leak in the dam and I’m pushing to get out. I keep holding out for a big crack, a burst of water to let me through so we can move forward already. I know, in life we never reach the finish line but there’s so much I’m waiting for, so much that needs to happen – like yesterday.
“There’s so much I’m waiting for…”
It feels like our lives are on hold and I’m waiting for someone to press “play” again. I long for our old schedules and traditions. The activities we use to do, the play, the cuddles, the fun. The love. Sure, it’s all still here but it’s packaged into a box that fits neatly within the guidelines of our surroundings.
It’s time to spread out a little. No tiptoeing or apologies. We are entering the next chapter of our lives and with all the stress, excitement, relief, sadness, and the abundant emotions involved, I’m trying not to come apart at the seams. Luckily, I’m not generally a crier but I have a feeling a good cry will be at the end of all this. It’s needed. And it will usually happen after everything blows over. So for now, I wait.
I’m waiting for the dam to burst.
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