“Pixie cuts aren’t for fat chicks.” Raise your hand if you believe that.
[Looks around and slowly raises her hand.]
I know the statement above is totally NOT true. I’ve seem some larger women totally rock a pixie haircut. The thing is… the ones I’ve seen – that I’m so in love with – happens to be on women with more delicate features than mine.
The temptation for a big chop happens every time I grow my hair out. And by “grow my hair out” I’m talking 18+ inches. Clearly enough to donate and still have hair longer than my shoulders.
I’ve never had the guts to do it.
My routine is grow it out and donate. Grow it out and donate. But I’ve never gone short-short. Usually a regular, shoulder-length cut will satisfy my pixie craving and then I’m right back in the cycle.
Honesty? A pixie cut just doesn’t seem like something I deserve. I’m too big. And my face is too round. And I’m not someone you’d label as “stylish” or “polished.” Really. Who the hell do I think I am that I could pull off such a cut?
But there’s more to it.
My hair is my security blanket. It’s my invisibility cloak. I realize how absurd this sounds – hair cannot hide fat. Fat is fat and it’s there – no matter how long your hair is or what you wear on your body to cover it. But I’ve realized, I do use it to hide myself.
In a society where large people aren’t considered as beautiful as skinny people, it’s hard to feel comfortable in my own skin. Long hair is largely considered beautiful and mine happens to be full, healthy and fits “society standards.”
So my thought process is this: why in the world would I take away the last thing on my body that’s attractive?
I’ve considered making the pixie cut a goal – OK, a reward – for losing weight. I’ve considered waiting until the mole on my face is removed. Somehow having less hair on my head would make all these other features stand out, right? [Right?] Let’s face it, I don’t want a haircut to accent the things I dislike about myself.
But on the flip side… Cutting it all off would be SO liberating. I mean, think of all the money I’d save on shampoo! I could style it in a variety of ways – all the time. I could pickup something off the floor without going blind. It wouldn’t give me a headache in yoga class.
Heck, I’d probably lose a few pounds!
More importantly, it would be a big F-U to society and what they consider beautiful. Or who they deem worthy enough of their time and conversation. Or who they think is worth attention and love.
Getting rid of my hair might be the key to my undoing… But it just might be exactly what I need.*
*No promises. We’ll see. 🙂
Photo credit: pixie-cropped.tumblr.com