Today was a good day.
It was premeditated since there are daily online tasks that I handle… and yesterday I set myself up for two days worth. Which means I didn’t have to touch a computer for an entire day. [We won’t count what I’m doing now. Besides the kids are in bed.] It was important to make sure the kids knew today was their day. Completely.
Sometimes the frustration in the house stems from me not giving 100% attention to the kids. Don’t get me wrong, kids should be able to self-entertain – but something is askew if I just want to bury myself in work and they are doing everything in their power to get my attention. Including arguing or getting into my makeup. Or peeing off the deck.
So today was devoted completely to them. We spent the whole day at the lake and nothing makes me smile more than the excitement of having a “pick-mick” while wearing our “baby soups” in the sand. Follow that up with my son’s football practice [my daughter is excellent at staring down the snack bar booth until it opens] and playing some catch as the sun went down.
At bedtime, we normally rattle off things we are thankful for and that’s a practice that has slipped lately. [We need to get back to that.] We generally spend a few moments and talk about the day and tell them about some of the things that make us proud or whatever comes to mind. Tonight, as I stood beside my six-year-old son’s bed, we talked about how the week started off rough but today was a good day.
Then he said the most profound thing:
“When people get mad or fight, [insert: fist over heart motion] my heart feels like it cracks open….. and it gets better when things are better.”
It was a sweet moment.
The fact of the matter is just the other day after a plethora of undesirable events unfolding – it was just a horrific day – I finally asked him what I needed to do to get him to behave. Time outs and talking wasn’t working so what would?
“I don’t know. Maybe you could just give me away. I try to behave but then I forget and I lose control of my body. I just don’t know.”
Ouch. That stung. And it wasn’t that he was being overly dramatic either. He said it so matter-of-fact and honest that it made my heart hurt. I pulled him close and told him to look at my face. Then I told him that I loved him more than anything [that’s our family saying]. And I would never, EVER give him away. He was mine and no matter what happened that would never change. I would love him forever.
The realness of this kid has brought me to my knees on more than one occasion. Sometimes it’s brought on by hilarity but others, moments like these, it is the deep expression put right out there on the surface. No fireworks just complete openness and honesty. It keeps me in check.
And i love that about him.