Tonight, I had a long talk with my sister-in-law. We are not particularly close and even though we both married into the same family, our common family is the only link that maintains the relationship. If it can be called a relationship.
It’s kind of odd how it happened. We were hanging with the kids by the campfire and eventually the s’mores ran out and the kids got bored. Then all that was left was light conversation about our children and school which eventually faded into friendships and how much we need them.
It was nice. I know I have issues with being close… not so much with being close since I’m completely fine putting myself out there but past experience tells me that female relationships can crumble at the smallest of things. Even what I thought was the strongest of female friendships managed to come to a screeching halt one way or another. Some of them were a shock to me – I never saw it coming.
It’s true, I’m extremely busy and I’m realistic that I might now have time to maintain a relationship but occasionally I do find myself longing for a friendship – at least to give my husband a break.
I realized that I don’t allow people in and that getting close with other women feels temporary. Like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Part of living fully is daring to be vulnerable. Even if it means getting hurt.
I might have to try that.